Today I went to Seniors. Well, the Seniors Christmas lunch, that is. And I wasn't exactly there, so to speak, but more so in the kitchen... That's right, I was washing dishes for the Seniors! Apparently I was asked for by name... interesting, eh? If they thought I was a top dish-washer than I’m afraid they were mistaken - I must admit I'm an appallingly slow dish-washer... must need practise.
I like helping people. I’m not dynamic or charismatic, but I just like to help. I’d do almost anything you asked me to, not in a passive, can’t-say-no kinda way, but because I care. This makes it a little hard for me to understand people whose help-radar is set to low; not people who are uncaring, just people who have been made to react differently. They’re like getters rather than givers, but not in a bad way. Perhaps it’s all about intrinsic (inner) versus extrinsic (material) motivation (oooh, teacher words!)? I don’t know.
Anyway, I’m wondering… Are you a giver or a getter? Are you first to offer help, or first to expect it? What are the pro’s and con’s of being what you are?
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6 comments:
I'm not sure which I am...
I don't really like getting and I definitely enjoy giving. However, I am unsure as to whether this makes me a 'giver' or not.
I guess I am, but perhaps not to the extent that others might be.
Everyone's a mix, to some extent, and different in different situations too. I'm much more of a getter when I'm at home, whereas I don't expect a lot at church or uni.
if i can help i dont see why i shouldn't....but sometimes i dont give the quality of help my best.
Oooh! Teacher words!
I believe that God made us all differently, and that while one person can be more inclined to be intrinsic (inner), another can be extrinsic (concrete), some can be evenly spaced between the two. (can I draw a graph!??)
I think I'm more of a giver, depending on what day it is. ;) Like, I love to give what I am to people, but then there's days where I just need help from someone, whether that be emotional, or physical (for example, I called Hamish over last night because I needed help with cooking)
I think that the pro's and con's can be if you're more extrinsic, people know what you're about, but then You will be the first one they call, whether that be a good or bad thing, but Steff seems to like it so it can;t be all bad!
Then if you are intrinsic, some people may never know how you feel, maybe you want to help, but feel afraid to ask or something?
Now I think about it, perhaps I'm more intrinsic.
So Steff, which one are you?
I'm not sure I'm following the way you're applying intrinsic and extrinsic, and I don't understand your comment about me...?
In my understanding, intrinsic motivation is when we do something for inner benefit. For example, the benefit we get from performing the action - we help others because the helping is rewarding to us. I am intrinsically motivated in this area.
Extrinsic means we need some other incentive to get us motivated, not just 'the honour of winning' or 'the joy of giving.' People who are extrinsically motivated prefer to receive some form of reward for their effort, ie. they would help people if they got something for doing it.
That's why I called them 'givers' and 'getters' - the intrinsics give because the GIVING makes them feel good, and the extrinsics give because the GETTING of tangible rewards for giving makes them feel good. That's why getters sometimes seem less willing to help, because often there's no reward, hence no motivation.
I think I know what I mean in my head...
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