The mountain just got bigger

Not long ago, August in fact, I wrote about the ever-growing To-Do Mountain, and how it appears an even more insurmountable obstacle each time it rears its head. I rather naively thought that would be the biggest mountain I would face for this stage of my life. Somewhat unexpectedly, due to a fairly severe bout of influenza, that mountain is back with a vengeance.

In light of the earth science unit I'm teaching in year 7, I'm wondering if perhaps this mountain could more aptly be described as a volcano. With each eruption, it grows a little bit higher. I just hope it's not one of those volcanoes that violently blows itself apart!

Coursework, exam, reports, curriculum writing... I'll see you on the other side.

A Jamie Oliver Moment

My mum put on the usual spread of delicacies for our family dinner last night. You know, just the usual for a simple Saturday meal: Soup, a roast, salad. And for dessert apple and pineapple slice, Viennese Sachertorte (chocolate sponge cake), cherry cheesecake slice and fresh cantaloupe. (I bet you're wishing you were of German heritage now.)

My grandfather asked why my mum had cooked so much (I think she just likes to cook). Then he asked me if I also cooked, to which I sadly had to reply no. Highlights of my own cooking career include crumbling cakes, raw 'baked' potatoes and my all-time favourite, cheese a la flames. I feel like I'm a disappointment to my lineage! When experiencing my cooking, people frequently comment in utter puzzlement, "But your mum is such a good cook..."

My own cooking abilities can be summed up in the Jamie Oliver moment I had a couple of days ago. I'm pretty sure it was Jamie Oliver that had the show where he'd come into someone's kitchen and cook up something restaurant-like from whatever was on hand in the pantry. Feeling a bit inspired, I attempted my own fanciful dish from what I could find in the fridge. Pumpkin soup and leftover pasta, with a little help from the spice rack, became the very classy herb and pumpkin penne with chives and parmesan.

Tasty, but still a clear distinction from my Mum's cuisine.

Is there anybody out there?

It's getting really lonely here. I'm beginning to think the blogosphere has been conquered by the mighty Facebook. People who previously couldn't hold down a blog have mysteriously become prolific status-updaters and wall-commenters. I, still rather lacking in Facebook skills, sit here faithfully constructing a more sophisticated and somewhat antiquated kind of prose... all alone.

I'm lead to believe one of two conclusions:
1) nobody reads my blog anymore because blogging is so old-fashioned, or
2) nobody reads my blog anymore because my content is so boring.

So, just in case it is the latter, I am giving you, my dear faithful readers, the chance to let me know how boring I've been and give me some suggestions for improvement! Please check out my new poll on the sidebar.

And if I get no responses, I know it's time to learn to use Facebook...

The term that was

I am so sick right now! I've been in bed/on the couch since Friday afternoon with a Panadol-ignoring fever running over 39, no voice, and swollen, agonising glands the size of golf balls in my throat. The sinuses have started today.

I'm annoyed that I'm sick, because I only had a cold two weeks ago, and should have been on the post-cold immune streak for a little longer than this. Perhaps I picked it up from the many very sick staff and students at work, or perhaps I ran myself a little too ragged in this final, terrible week, or perhaps it is just the results of the term that was.

This term started with my final teaching round. For three weeks I had to forgo my day and a half of planning and study time to teach in a primary classroom. I spent every spare second preparing for 5 full days at school. When rounds were finally over, I gained my half day of planning back, which was a welcome relief. But I still had to spend the next four weeks' of Thursdays at uni. This was also the time I started all those major final assignments. I spent all week getting organised for school, and each weekend cramming those assignments. Finally, week 8, uni was finished, so I threw myself into curriculum documentation at work and trying to catch up on German at home (I'm up to week 6 now).

All these extras have made life very busy, but work itself has been no easy feat this term. Secondary has more contact hours to plan for, but having a reference text and workbook to work from make it a lot easier. You already have your curriculum and your content, and your job is to make it accessible and engaging. With primary, I'm the curriculum developer, content researcher and resource creator all rolled into one. Because of a wonderful thing called the Olympics, I developed this insanely huge Olympics project (which was great once it was started, but a lot of work to set up and resource), and a unit on Chinese music (I learnt a lot, I hope the students did too).

I've had to step back and admit that I can't keep it all up anymore. I took August off Explorers to complete uni (very much needed!), only organised two youth nights, and skipped a couple of social events. Now it's holidays and I'm exhausted. I think I've survived it all, hopefully even done well. This term hasn't been a very healthy pace, although I have included more exercise, fruits and wholegrains in my lifestyle at least. The good news is this term was an exception, and definitely not the rule.

A friend of mine asked me the other day what was making me tired. I looked at him somewhat incredulously, with all this running through my mind, before replying, "Oh, you know. Just work and uni and all that."

Transition to teaching

Ironically, we had a unit titled this in our final, block-moded semester of uni. The unit was aimed to help us prepare for work as a casual relief teacher and included assembling a teaching kit, a final practicum component, and for some still unknown reason, a largely irrelevant poster task.

But the real inspiration for this post came not from uni (unsurprisingly), but while I was cleaning down the sinks in the home economics room at school. I had just survived a largely successful cooking session with my year 8 class. I had prepared for chaos, and it was indeed chaotic. But above all that I was somewhat disbelieving of how well it had actually worked out. As all must surely know, I am in actual fact a rather lousy cook. It dawned on me as I was clearing up in the aftermath that the transition to becoming a teacher involves so much more than just moving from a lecture theatre to a classroom. It's about moving into teaching practice, of course, but it's also about learning to lead others in new experiences and skills - often requiring us to step up and develop these for ourselves!

As I'm transitioning into teaching, I can't help but feel I am transitioning into a more 'real' adulthood as well. Or maybe that's just the kids making me feel old!

Meet the parents

It's that pivotal time in a relationship. Things are sailing along smoothly, the world seems a magical place, and your lovey-doveyness is more gooey than a toddler's pre-loved biscuit. So you decide that it is time get acquainted with the relatives.

At near-on six years in, we finally had the chance to do what we had waited many years to do; introduce the grandparents to each other. Oma is from Poland, Opa is from former Czechoslovakia. Due to the war and invasion and experiences as soldiers, prisoners of war, refugees, and workers, they both found themselves in Germany. Oma married a Yugoslav and Opa married the beautiful German woman, my Omi. Both families emigrated to Australia and spent time in the same migrant camp, ten years apart. Both individuals have avid memories, and a great many stories to tell.

Today they met for the first time and shared some of their experiences. It was a great time, and I'm so happy we could all get together and just enjoy each other's company.

God is so good!

He did it - He brought me through yet another crunch-time experience. Like always, this felt like the worst time ever. This post was originally going to be earlier in the week when I was exuberant about not only completing all these hurdles but doing so early - however, I ended up needing to do some last minute alterations after all. In any case, La Trobe University is finished!

Can I do it?

Two weeks.

On Friday the 29th of August, I will hopefully submit the last of the assessment items crowding this month's to-do list. Between now and then, I have to design a poster, assemble a teaching kit, make some kind of contribution to a debate forum, and catch up on four weeks of coursework for submission.

Two weeks.

I'm wondering, can I do it? Often I have found myself in the crunch and wondered if I would pull through one more time. I've stood at the foot of To-Do Mountain, thinking, this time it really is insurmountable, and somehow mustered the strength to push on anyway. Always before God has brought me through. Will He help me traverse this path again, or will He choose to use this mountain to teach me a different way?

Two weeks.

People don't seem to understand that I feel the pressure of work and assignments just as much as everyone else. They look at my past achievements and label me 'A'. What are you stressed about? they ask, almost as if to deny me any right to feel anxious, You always do well. To them, my mountain has a highway cut straight through the middle, along which I am able to slowly meander, carefree as can be. They don't see that I must in fact scale the cliff right beside them and trek the same rugged terrain. My past is only testimony to hard work, and even more so to God's work in me to bring me through.

Two weeks.

Those two words repeat in my head, rhythmic like a runner's feet pounding one in front of the other, over and over. As I run and climb this mountain, my body grows tired. My eyes feel strained, and my legs and shoulders ache and cramp. Keep on running, keep on climbing, keep on working, keep on, keep on...

Two weeks.

Can I do it, one more time?

Now a Jedi

The friend I mentioned in an early post has now finished their training. Well done on the long years of hard work, and congratulations on your new qualification! :)

A convincing act

I was in the middle of teaching an English session with my grade 3/4 class. The students were working quietly and were well-focused, and I was circulating around the room monitoring their work, as you do.

An idea suddenly occurred to Daniel and he looked up from his work to ask, "Hey, how come we don't have any student teachers anymore?"

I smiled and replied, "I'm sure you'll have some more soon."

Unbeknown to them, I am currently their student teacher, working in their class for a day and a half on top of my specialist classes. To them, I am just the specialist teacher, for some odd reason helping out with a couple of sessions. I must be convincing!

No more training do you require

No more training do you require. Already know you that which you need.

So a wise Muppet once said in the classic film, Return of the Jedi.

I was talking with a friend who was wrestling with the final components of his apprenticeship training, when the quote came to mind. In my friend's case, the quote was quite fitting, as he must complete these training modules out of formality in order to prove the skills and knowledge he has been competent in for quite some time already.

In its original context, Yoda is speaking to Luke Skywalker, who has returned to complete his Jedi training after rushing off to rescue his friends from Darth Vader. Yoda tells Luke that he already knows everything he needs.

I think this situation describes a lot of us, as we continue to worry about personal development which we don't really need. I often feel like I'm under-prepared for things I do, like I've still go so much to learn, and so far to go before I'll be ready to take on big challenges. I think we all feel like that at times as we live for God. We can feel lacking in spiritual maturity, or unqualified to follow God's calling.

But God's grace says to us: no more training do you require. Already know you that which you need. We don't need to wait until we're 'super-spiritual' before we're allowed to follow God. We don't need to feel inadequate to serve God just because of our backgrounds or the amount of time we've been Christians. We can rest assured that we have all we need to connect with God right now. God has already provided us with all we require to live as effective Christians.

As Yoda's dialogue is largely based on Buddhist teachings, this analogy of course can only be taken so far. Obviously, there is a place in the Christian walk for development and continual learning as we strive for Christlikeness. After Yoda's comment, Luke jumped to the conclusion: "Then I am a Jedi", to which Yoda laughed and reminded him that he had not arrived yet. We will never quite "arrive" (Phil 3:12-14), but we can take comfort in the fact that we already know all that we need for what God is calling us to today.

Countdown

Four days until the holidays...! My how the dauntingly long 12-week term has disappeared! Not to mention the second last semester of uni - ever! Anyone else feeling old?

Why would I want to work with children?

I don't consider myself to be fantastic at working with kids, or perhaps even passionate about it to the exclusion of all else. Everyone knows it can be a real headache at times, but then there are those occasions where it's pure pleasure to have the honoured privilege of working with these young individuals. They have such a different way of seeing the world, and the most disarming sense of humour at times. Check this out...

A grade four student, reading the staff room duty roster attached to my work folder, thought he was very clever to discover my first name.

"Is your first name Steffanie?" he asked somewhat cheekily.

"Yes," I answered, and left it at that, which for some reason he interpreted as displeasure.

"Aw, don't be embarrassed," he continued, "My first name's Tom, you know."

Having taught him for six months, I was fully aware of both his first and last names, and could only smile at the complete randomness of such a comment. It makes me wonder at how they come up with these things.

Please note, in all anecdotes students' names have been changed for anonymity.

Inbetween

Yesterday was the last day of LTU semester one. Tomorrow is the first day of LTU semester two. What a strange day today is, the day between semesters. (At least for LTU, that is. UNE semester one doesn't finish for another three weeks, and semester two won't conclude until November. Then throw in your school terms if you want to get really confusing!)

When things just work

I've had a good day today.

It feels like I've been hitting my head against a wall for the last little while, with nothing ever seeming to go to plan or turn out quite right.

Today, a simple word from a colleague encouraged me. The song I had poured so much time into last week was a huge success, and my help with the band practice had been a turning point for one student.

Going about my morning I had to stifle a goofy grin, as I reveled in the elation of when things just work.

May the fourth be with you!

Today is one of my favourite days, ranking right up there with international talk like a pirate day. To all you Star Wars fans out there, "May the fourth be with you!"

Pancakes

It had been a goal for quite some time to eat at a pancake parlour. Since Miners in Bendigo closed down so long ago, I had only ever eaten in a pancake parlour once in my lifetime, and then only as a small child with little recollection. As there was never any local replacement, the novelty factor was high enough for me to plan a road trip to Ballarat.

Another place I had always wanted to try was La Piccolina, conveniently located just near my church. On the down side, La Piccolina closed down before I ever had the chance to visit for more than a hot chocolate. But on the plus side, it was converted into Bendigo's own Pancake Paradise! And so, with my fellow pancake fanatic Cara, I ate at a pancake parlour and completed my mission.

While at first sticking to my childhood vow of avoiding the senseless "savoury pancake", formed from my only hazy memory of Miners, I found myself eating a vegetarian crepe. While thoroughly tasty, I was disappointed in my missed opportunity for that stack of pancakes smothered in ice-cream, fruit and condiments, the pancake stack of my dreams.

So a new plan was made: Eat sweet pancakes at a pancake parlour.

This plan seemed simple enough to follow through on, since I no longer needed to hike over to Ballarat to complete it. However, the Sundays passed by one by one, filled with midday meetings and lunch appointments.

Until today.

Matt and I were determined not to be thwarted today. We resolutely decided on the Banana Paradise, a dreamy triple stack with ice-cream, banana and maple syrup. However as I perused the menu it was not long before I once again fell into the temptation offered up by the savouries, subsequently finding myself munching on a bacon, cheese and potato pancake, while across from me Matt consumed bolognaise atop his pancakes.

Not to be defeated, we pushed on and made our banana a split. Mission deliciously accomplished!

Engaging Times

How exciting! A few more of my friends have gotten engaged in the past few weeks, and I'm so excited for them! I love being around happy couples (not the sickeningly oozy ones, just the genuinely happy). You get to witness something really rare in our world today: deep love. It just seems to emanate from them and they can't help it (even if they wanted to). It leaves me feeling inspired, like there's hope for the world after all. Lots of people seem to get caught up in the 'wedding pressure' of engagements, but for me the elation of watching my friends enter into these exciting times is joy enough for me!

A shout out to you guys, and I can't wait to see you looking even more beautiful than usual in your gorgeous dresses! (I hope I'm invited :P)

Awareness Test

How aware are you? Do The Test
A simple message, but so true.

In all things give thanks

I had the noblest of plans last year, plans which I was excited about, plans which were the best of plans, plans which would break the mould of my recent life. I thought they were plans God wanted for me (and in part they were). As it turned out, those plans were taken away by other unforeseen happenings.

I often think wistfully about those lost plans. In the strain of everyday life, I find myself wanting to be living out that alternate plan instead of being where I am. It's particularly hard when I watch my friends living those dreams while I am denied them.

In reality, these blessings were not thrown away, but simply exchanged for greater ones. God's plans are always bigger than our plans (Isaiah 55:8-9). These plans are harder to live out, but they are good. I am truly thankful, and I need to remember to be (1 Thess 5:18).

Becoming a Mum

I often wonder if one day I'll wake up to find several small bodies nestled in my bed, a household strewn with children's clutter, a shopping list dominated by school items and birthday party supplies, and realise that I've become the super-woman I once admired.

It seems to me, as a naive and childless young adult, that the act of becoming a mother (or father) mysteriously grants you the super powers necessary for rearing young and transforms you into this admirable super being. You can sleep, but still hear everything. You can tell the weather without reading any forecast. You can detect the invisible emotions of your own children, and often others' as well.

On school camp this week, my lack of these skills was very apparent. Some kids got up around 3am to get up to some innocent mischief. I, the uninitiated, peacefully slept right through the sound of doors, footsteps and toilet flushes, while my experienced-parent colleagues, intuitively attuned, promptly rose to deal with the matter. It seems to me that I shall have to wait until I have become a mother myself before I'll ever be a good camp leader... unless anyone knows another way to train yourself to sleep lightly?

"Let me play among the stars"

Last Saturday Matt and I went star-gazing at the lake. As you might know, I love star-gazing, so the opportunity to peer through professionals' telescopes and see planets and constellations was not something I was going to miss for anything.

Mars was a little disappointing - it was just a big red blob, a magnified version of what you can see with the naked eye. We missed Pleiades, but saw some wispy clouds in an Orion cluster instead. The brightest star in our sky, Sirius, lived up to its reputation as a piercing brightness when viewed through the telescope.

The highlight of the night was definitely Saturn. After Mars' somewhat bland appearance, I was expecting a planet even further away to be less distinct again. When it finally rose around 10.30pm, the enthusiasts eagerly spun their telescopes to see it. Matt was excited because he was allowed to play with the telescope and line up Saturn himself. After a bit of fine-tuning by the expert, we were gazing at a brilliant orange planet complete with rings. Miniature when compared with NASA imagery, but recognisable and breath-taking nonetheless.

A second first day

Today was my second first day of teaching, if that makes any sense. It was my first day at Victory (with students), and although I only had two classes today, I am exhausted. Surprisingly, it actually felt good to be back in a classroom... But I'm sure the feeling will pass!

You've got mail

I "joined up" so that I could view friends' photos... Now the only emails I get are Facebook notifications!

New Job

I have exciting (albeit by now old) news: This year I've got a job teaching at Victory Christian College! I'm teaching P-8 Indonesian, P-7 music and Year 7 science. I'm really excited, but more than that I'm absolutely terrified! I don't know how to be a "real" teacher! There's so many subjects and across so many different levels, it's difficult to get my head around it all. In reality, my load is much more narrowly focused than many of the other secondary teachers, or any primary teacher for that matter.

I always wanted to start off as a generalist teacher before being locked into a LOTE position, so this is a strange deviation from my plans. But I don't mind all that much, really. I'm just glad for the opportunity to work with one of my languages again!

Travel Backlog

As promised, it's finally time to upload some of my thoughts and photos from my recent travels. There's so much to write about, I don't know where to start! I've got so many funny stories, from my family cooking the rooster that kept me awake all night, to my imagined pirate attack at sea, not to mention my host family inviting themselves to my non-existent wedding, or being stranded in a crusty old speedboat in the middle of an allegedly croc-infested swamp! There are other stories too, like the tragic conditions of the orphanage, the impressive devoutness of the Muslims, or the incredible feeling of communicating with the people in their own language.

Sometimes people get bored hearing those stories, though. So if you're interested in any of those, please request them! For now, I'm just going to write about some of the things I learned while I was away, which might be more relevant/interesting. I've grouped them under three saying which were uttered on a daily basis over there!

I need a mandi!

This is a bak mandi. When you want to have a shower, you use the little plastic scoop to splash the COLD water over yourself. Some people were lucky enough to score western showers, but for me it was bak mandis from day one. I absolutely hate pouring cold water over myself, but in the constantly sticky, humid weather you find yourself sweating profusely and you just feel gross and smelly all the time. It wasn't uncommon to go back for two or three mandis a day, and as we were walking around visiting places we would often long for a good, refreshing wash! This reminded me of our need to get with God regularly and 'freshen up'. In the heat of life in this world we quickly get smelly in a spiritual sense, and only regular contact with God will refresh us and keep us 'fragrant' (2 Cor 2:14).

Cape deh!

This roughly translates to "So tired!" and is a Jakartan slang word which has filtered in to the rest of Indonesia through television soapies and the like. Every day we were flat out: visiting the uni for 8 o'clock classes, sight-seeing in the afternoons, going places with the host families, attending celebrations and meetings, teaching or visiting places in the village, etc. Already being jet lagged from the massive journey over, the late nights, early starts (5:30am for me, others were woken earlier by morning prayers) and crowded itinerary were exhausting. The weather really zaps you too. This reminded me of our need to persevere and run our race to the end (Heb 12:1). Things in life get tough sometimes, but we need to stick things out to the end and run our race in order to win the prize (1 Cor 9:24). The ultimate "prize" is so much better than relaxing on a gorgeous tropical beach, but that was good enough for me while I was there!

It's Indonesia!

Overcrowded public transport, excessive horn-honking, rubbish all through the streets, goats on the streets, catching a motorbike taxi, children following you around, strangers asking for a photo with you, food that is all deep-fried, cakes that are green jelly, chips that are made out of bananas, transport that arrives hours late... "It's Indonesia!" the locals explain with a mix of apology and pride. In Indonesia, you need to learn to just run with it. If you're going to wait for hours for someone to pick you up, you may as well be patient. If you're going to be an inevitable celebrity, you may as well enjoy it! I've learned to join with the locals and just throw up my hands and say, "It's Indonesia!" This reminded me of the "It's Indonesia" moments we have in life - the moments when everything is out of our control and we feel completely frustrated or overwhelmed. We need to remember that God is in control, no matter what weird or trying situation we find ourselves in. We should learn to say "It's life!" and trust where God's taking us.

I'll be back

It's been crazy! Unfortunately I didn't get a chance to update my blog while I was overseas, and shortly after I got back I caught yet another plane to Queensland to celebrate my grandmother's 90th birthday. I got back just in time for New Years but today I'm heading off to Frankston again.

I'll be back soon with photos and details from my travels!