I am a hoarder

I admit it, I confess. I am a hoarder.

These holidays I have squandered my precious planning time trying to clean up a little and get organised for the big move in September. I have lived in this house my entire life, and to say I have a lot of stuff would definitely be an understatement. The worst part is that none of it is neatly catalogued or stored in any kind of organised manner. Due to (real or imagined) time constraints in my lifestyle, I've developed a nasty habit of piling things somewhere quick to hand, where I will (never) get around to sorting them later. I also add new things to my 'collection' without ever throwing away what they're intended to replace. Children's books, school work, old notes from friends, potentially useful tidbits, and ancient clothes that still fit (so why would you part with them?)...

Something tells me the sewing/guest room may not become a fully workable space for some time after I move out.

Graduate

It's the end of an era. Today marked the formal completion of my degree, and the end of one chapter in my life [insert over-dramatisation here]. Strangely, the feelings I had were largely ones of great relief to be finished with the place, rather than sadness at losing these fun times and friendships (and of course this over-arching tiredness that permeates my every day at the moment). As the commitments of a full-time year wear on, perhaps I will wistfully remember the lazy structure of Fridays off, 10 o'clock starts, and when the hardest thing I had to do was write an essay. Things were so simple then, locked away in the 'Faulty Towers' reality of academia. If only the life of a perpetual student could generate an income!

The ceremony itself was one of expensive photos, old-worldly garments and much doffing (but enjoyable enough). As I held my certificate in my hands, the thought occurred to me that I was holding the culmination of every long-winded essay I'd ever written, every hour spent researching in the library, every late night finishing an assignment, every mid-semester break spent cramming readings and tasks, every afternoon of chilling in the Student Union, every lecture and tute attended. Everyone was fussing about it, and congratulating me. But I felt like it was just the natural progression. It was formally labelled an 'award', but surely it's more like an earning. This is the wages of my four years of work... one piece of paper and employability.

Tips for filling a beanbag

OPTION 1:
Equipment needed: piece of wire, kitchen knife, bag of beans (or old beanbag), beanbag.

Procedure:
* Start with the beanbag in any old place, perhaps where you left it last.
* Open the zipper of the beanbag using the piece of wire.
* Slash a hole in the bag of beans/old beanbag with the kitchen knife (or use any preexisting hole).
* Aim the hole at the zipper opening.
* Squeeze until you give up in frustration.

Beans spilled: Countless.

OPTION 2:
Equipment needed: scissors, pen, bag of beans, beanbag, bathtub, plug, knee, elbow.

Procedure:
* Put the plug in the empty bathtub and then place the beanbag inside.
* Open the zipper using the pen.
* Cut open a small corner of the bag of beans using the scissors.
* Put one foot on the edge of the bathtub and use your knee to keep the bag of beans in position with the cut-off corner inside the zipper opening.
* Use your elbow to squeeze the bag of beans like a bagpipe until the bag is empty.

Beans spilled: Zero.

How Times Have Changed

I read this online today, and it's so sadly true.

Scenario:
Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his gun rack.
1957 - The vice principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car, and gets his own shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - The school goes into lockdown, the FBI is called, and Jack is hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors are called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario:
Jeffrey won't be still in class and disrupts other students.
1957 - Jeffrey is sent to the office and is given a good paddling by the principal. He returns to class, sits still, and does not disrupt the class again.
2007 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie and is tested for ADD. The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his dad gives him a spanking with his belt.
1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom falls for the psychologist.

Scenario:
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in state prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy.

You've Got Mail

I have a friend (you know who you are!) who is very excited about most things postal. Now I am the one who will be watching the letter box with great expectation for the next few weeks. I'm waiting on some important mail, not the least of which is a sandwich press that I won!

Interestingly enough, I made a blog post with the same name almost exactly a year ago...

Slice, slice, baby

The title pays homage to the many delicious slices, not to mention a tonne of savouries, that my dear mother whipped up for the engagement party last Saturday. Although, many a guest, while sampling the delicacies, posed that tired old question, "So, has your mother taught you to cook this good?" With any luck, the thus far recessive allele might emerge sometime in the next thirty years...

The brief event was a blur, but a great one. And such lovely, generous gifts! But best of all was catching up with so many people from all the circles of our lives.

A new year, a new look

At the dawn (or at least early morning) of 2009, I return to my very neglected blog with much news to share. It is a year of many new beginnings and many exciting developments, some of which are well-known by now and others which I may reveal later. To reflect all this newness, I thought a fresh new colour would suit (although blue is perhaps not that far removed from blue afterall...).

Let me bring you up to speed. The last you heard of me, I was whinging about yet another self-inflicted work load. I was on the verge of report writing, final exams and end of year routine. In short, it was even worse than I thought it would be due to many unforseen interuptions (not all of which were unpleasant!). But I made it through, surviving my 'first year out' and completing all study for good (or at least until a future lapse of judgement).

Much more importantly, I've finally traded in my boyfriend for a fiancé after the most romantic proposal of all time on November 22. Stoz and I will be getting married on the 19th of September! Yay :) Keep up to date with the new countdown on the sidebar.

So, 2009 sees me teaching Indonesian, Music, Maths and Humanities, and planning a wedding on the side. This will certainly be a very interesting year!

The mountain just got bigger

Not long ago, August in fact, I wrote about the ever-growing To-Do Mountain, and how it appears an even more insurmountable obstacle each time it rears its head. I rather naively thought that would be the biggest mountain I would face for this stage of my life. Somewhat unexpectedly, due to a fairly severe bout of influenza, that mountain is back with a vengeance.

In light of the earth science unit I'm teaching in year 7, I'm wondering if perhaps this mountain could more aptly be described as a volcano. With each eruption, it grows a little bit higher. I just hope it's not one of those volcanoes that violently blows itself apart!

Coursework, exam, reports, curriculum writing... I'll see you on the other side.

A Jamie Oliver Moment

My mum put on the usual spread of delicacies for our family dinner last night. You know, just the usual for a simple Saturday meal: Soup, a roast, salad. And for dessert apple and pineapple slice, Viennese Sachertorte (chocolate sponge cake), cherry cheesecake slice and fresh cantaloupe. (I bet you're wishing you were of German heritage now.)

My grandfather asked why my mum had cooked so much (I think she just likes to cook). Then he asked me if I also cooked, to which I sadly had to reply no. Highlights of my own cooking career include crumbling cakes, raw 'baked' potatoes and my all-time favourite, cheese a la flames. I feel like I'm a disappointment to my lineage! When experiencing my cooking, people frequently comment in utter puzzlement, "But your mum is such a good cook..."

My own cooking abilities can be summed up in the Jamie Oliver moment I had a couple of days ago. I'm pretty sure it was Jamie Oliver that had the show where he'd come into someone's kitchen and cook up something restaurant-like from whatever was on hand in the pantry. Feeling a bit inspired, I attempted my own fanciful dish from what I could find in the fridge. Pumpkin soup and leftover pasta, with a little help from the spice rack, became the very classy herb and pumpkin penne with chives and parmesan.

Tasty, but still a clear distinction from my Mum's cuisine.

Is there anybody out there?

It's getting really lonely here. I'm beginning to think the blogosphere has been conquered by the mighty Facebook. People who previously couldn't hold down a blog have mysteriously become prolific status-updaters and wall-commenters. I, still rather lacking in Facebook skills, sit here faithfully constructing a more sophisticated and somewhat antiquated kind of prose... all alone.

I'm lead to believe one of two conclusions:
1) nobody reads my blog anymore because blogging is so old-fashioned, or
2) nobody reads my blog anymore because my content is so boring.

So, just in case it is the latter, I am giving you, my dear faithful readers, the chance to let me know how boring I've been and give me some suggestions for improvement! Please check out my new poll on the sidebar.

And if I get no responses, I know it's time to learn to use Facebook...

The term that was

I am so sick right now! I've been in bed/on the couch since Friday afternoon with a Panadol-ignoring fever running over 39, no voice, and swollen, agonising glands the size of golf balls in my throat. The sinuses have started today.

I'm annoyed that I'm sick, because I only had a cold two weeks ago, and should have been on the post-cold immune streak for a little longer than this. Perhaps I picked it up from the many very sick staff and students at work, or perhaps I ran myself a little too ragged in this final, terrible week, or perhaps it is just the results of the term that was.

This term started with my final teaching round. For three weeks I had to forgo my day and a half of planning and study time to teach in a primary classroom. I spent every spare second preparing for 5 full days at school. When rounds were finally over, I gained my half day of planning back, which was a welcome relief. But I still had to spend the next four weeks' of Thursdays at uni. This was also the time I started all those major final assignments. I spent all week getting organised for school, and each weekend cramming those assignments. Finally, week 8, uni was finished, so I threw myself into curriculum documentation at work and trying to catch up on German at home (I'm up to week 6 now).

All these extras have made life very busy, but work itself has been no easy feat this term. Secondary has more contact hours to plan for, but having a reference text and workbook to work from make it a lot easier. You already have your curriculum and your content, and your job is to make it accessible and engaging. With primary, I'm the curriculum developer, content researcher and resource creator all rolled into one. Because of a wonderful thing called the Olympics, I developed this insanely huge Olympics project (which was great once it was started, but a lot of work to set up and resource), and a unit on Chinese music (I learnt a lot, I hope the students did too).

I've had to step back and admit that I can't keep it all up anymore. I took August off Explorers to complete uni (very much needed!), only organised two youth nights, and skipped a couple of social events. Now it's holidays and I'm exhausted. I think I've survived it all, hopefully even done well. This term hasn't been a very healthy pace, although I have included more exercise, fruits and wholegrains in my lifestyle at least. The good news is this term was an exception, and definitely not the rule.

A friend of mine asked me the other day what was making me tired. I looked at him somewhat incredulously, with all this running through my mind, before replying, "Oh, you know. Just work and uni and all that."

Transition to teaching

Ironically, we had a unit titled this in our final, block-moded semester of uni. The unit was aimed to help us prepare for work as a casual relief teacher and included assembling a teaching kit, a final practicum component, and for some still unknown reason, a largely irrelevant poster task.

But the real inspiration for this post came not from uni (unsurprisingly), but while I was cleaning down the sinks in the home economics room at school. I had just survived a largely successful cooking session with my year 8 class. I had prepared for chaos, and it was indeed chaotic. But above all that I was somewhat disbelieving of how well it had actually worked out. As all must surely know, I am in actual fact a rather lousy cook. It dawned on me as I was clearing up in the aftermath that the transition to becoming a teacher involves so much more than just moving from a lecture theatre to a classroom. It's about moving into teaching practice, of course, but it's also about learning to lead others in new experiences and skills - often requiring us to step up and develop these for ourselves!

As I'm transitioning into teaching, I can't help but feel I am transitioning into a more 'real' adulthood as well. Or maybe that's just the kids making me feel old!

Meet the parents

It's that pivotal time in a relationship. Things are sailing along smoothly, the world seems a magical place, and your lovey-doveyness is more gooey than a toddler's pre-loved biscuit. So you decide that it is time get acquainted with the relatives.

At near-on six years in, we finally had the chance to do what we had waited many years to do; introduce the grandparents to each other. Oma is from Poland, Opa is from former Czechoslovakia. Due to the war and invasion and experiences as soldiers, prisoners of war, refugees, and workers, they both found themselves in Germany. Oma married a Yugoslav and Opa married the beautiful German woman, my Omi. Both families emigrated to Australia and spent time in the same migrant camp, ten years apart. Both individuals have avid memories, and a great many stories to tell.

Today they met for the first time and shared some of their experiences. It was a great time, and I'm so happy we could all get together and just enjoy each other's company.

God is so good!

He did it - He brought me through yet another crunch-time experience. Like always, this felt like the worst time ever. This post was originally going to be earlier in the week when I was exuberant about not only completing all these hurdles but doing so early - however, I ended up needing to do some last minute alterations after all. In any case, La Trobe University is finished!

Can I do it?

Two weeks.

On Friday the 29th of August, I will hopefully submit the last of the assessment items crowding this month's to-do list. Between now and then, I have to design a poster, assemble a teaching kit, make some kind of contribution to a debate forum, and catch up on four weeks of coursework for submission.

Two weeks.

I'm wondering, can I do it? Often I have found myself in the crunch and wondered if I would pull through one more time. I've stood at the foot of To-Do Mountain, thinking, this time it really is insurmountable, and somehow mustered the strength to push on anyway. Always before God has brought me through. Will He help me traverse this path again, or will He choose to use this mountain to teach me a different way?

Two weeks.

People don't seem to understand that I feel the pressure of work and assignments just as much as everyone else. They look at my past achievements and label me 'A'. What are you stressed about? they ask, almost as if to deny me any right to feel anxious, You always do well. To them, my mountain has a highway cut straight through the middle, along which I am able to slowly meander, carefree as can be. They don't see that I must in fact scale the cliff right beside them and trek the same rugged terrain. My past is only testimony to hard work, and even more so to God's work in me to bring me through.

Two weeks.

Those two words repeat in my head, rhythmic like a runner's feet pounding one in front of the other, over and over. As I run and climb this mountain, my body grows tired. My eyes feel strained, and my legs and shoulders ache and cramp. Keep on running, keep on climbing, keep on working, keep on, keep on...

Two weeks.

Can I do it, one more time?

Now a Jedi

The friend I mentioned in an early post has now finished their training. Well done on the long years of hard work, and congratulations on your new qualification! :)

A convincing act

I was in the middle of teaching an English session with my grade 3/4 class. The students were working quietly and were well-focused, and I was circulating around the room monitoring their work, as you do.

An idea suddenly occurred to Daniel and he looked up from his work to ask, "Hey, how come we don't have any student teachers anymore?"

I smiled and replied, "I'm sure you'll have some more soon."

Unbeknown to them, I am currently their student teacher, working in their class for a day and a half on top of my specialist classes. To them, I am just the specialist teacher, for some odd reason helping out with a couple of sessions. I must be convincing!

No more training do you require

No more training do you require. Already know you that which you need.

So a wise Muppet once said in the classic film, Return of the Jedi.

I was talking with a friend who was wrestling with the final components of his apprenticeship training, when the quote came to mind. In my friend's case, the quote was quite fitting, as he must complete these training modules out of formality in order to prove the skills and knowledge he has been competent in for quite some time already.

In its original context, Yoda is speaking to Luke Skywalker, who has returned to complete his Jedi training after rushing off to rescue his friends from Darth Vader. Yoda tells Luke that he already knows everything he needs.

I think this situation describes a lot of us, as we continue to worry about personal development which we don't really need. I often feel like I'm under-prepared for things I do, like I've still go so much to learn, and so far to go before I'll be ready to take on big challenges. I think we all feel like that at times as we live for God. We can feel lacking in spiritual maturity, or unqualified to follow God's calling.

But God's grace says to us: no more training do you require. Already know you that which you need. We don't need to wait until we're 'super-spiritual' before we're allowed to follow God. We don't need to feel inadequate to serve God just because of our backgrounds or the amount of time we've been Christians. We can rest assured that we have all we need to connect with God right now. God has already provided us with all we require to live as effective Christians.

As Yoda's dialogue is largely based on Buddhist teachings, this analogy of course can only be taken so far. Obviously, there is a place in the Christian walk for development and continual learning as we strive for Christlikeness. After Yoda's comment, Luke jumped to the conclusion: "Then I am a Jedi", to which Yoda laughed and reminded him that he had not arrived yet. We will never quite "arrive" (Phil 3:12-14), but we can take comfort in the fact that we already know all that we need for what God is calling us to today.

Countdown

Four days until the holidays...! My how the dauntingly long 12-week term has disappeared! Not to mention the second last semester of uni - ever! Anyone else feeling old?

Why would I want to work with children?

I don't consider myself to be fantastic at working with kids, or perhaps even passionate about it to the exclusion of all else. Everyone knows it can be a real headache at times, but then there are those occasions where it's pure pleasure to have the honoured privilege of working with these young individuals. They have such a different way of seeing the world, and the most disarming sense of humour at times. Check this out...

A grade four student, reading the staff room duty roster attached to my work folder, thought he was very clever to discover my first name.

"Is your first name Steffanie?" he asked somewhat cheekily.

"Yes," I answered, and left it at that, which for some reason he interpreted as displeasure.

"Aw, don't be embarrassed," he continued, "My first name's Tom, you know."

Having taught him for six months, I was fully aware of both his first and last names, and could only smile at the complete randomness of such a comment. It makes me wonder at how they come up with these things.

Please note, in all anecdotes students' names have been changed for anonymity.