Hello, readers!
Last night was exactly two weeks shy of 4 years since I went up to the hospital complaining of chest pains. The significance? I did that again last night, on my poor mother's birthday. The conclusions? "Just take some Nurofen..."
So, where are we at now?
1. Visit my GP - try Panadol.
2. Make a trip to casualty.
3. Have an ECG.
4. Have an x-ray of my lungs.
5. Visit GP again.
6. Visit a cardio specialist.
7. Have an echo-cardiogram (like an ultrasound...)
8. Call an ambulance from New South Wales (honestly, Dad!).
9. Visit GP again - try Brufen.
10. Visit an osteopath.
11. Have an x-ray of my spine.
12. Visit orthopedic surgeon about possible scoliosis.
13. Visit physiotherapist - referred to clinical pilates.
14. Have another x-ray of my spine - look for missing vertebra.
15. Make a trip to casualty, clots ruled out.
16. Visit GP again - try Voltaren.
17. Visit same orthopedic surgeon about vertebra issue (tomorrow).
Do you think I'll ever figure it out???
Tuesday 29 May 2007
Saturday 19 May 2007
Planeteers, the power is yours!
A post from a blogger whom I've never even met before inspired me to write about some feelings I've been slowly processing over a very long time. These feelings are issues that have been gradually brought to my attention mostly because they were problems in my own life that were hindering me from my potential, and they were unhealthy. The more I grew, the more I saw how these parts of my attitude were a problem and that I should change the way I was thinking. I wish I was writing this in the past tense, but the truth is I still struggle with this almost everyday, and I think that they are problems that plague most members of western society from time to time, maybe even further than that. It's my hope that by defining these problems I can remind myself to move past them, and maybe even help others to see how they can move forward too if they struggle like I do.
I've heard a bit lately from various different people from all different friendship groups and all different scenarios and relationships that echos these attitude problems I see in myself, which makes me think the problem is bigger than just me. Often we get hung up about how we relate to others, or how other people relate with one another around us. To be bluntly honest, I am well and truly sick of feeling this way, and I want to change!
My first major problem is the issue of boxing. We are all for 'unity' and 'respect for people of all walks of life' and 'inclusion' and 'supporting one another' and all sorts of nice, warm, fuzzy phrases like that. But in the very next breath, we say words like 'my type' or 'those people' and proceed to place ourselves in a box apart from the rest of the societal group in question. After we have placed ourselves in our nice little box, we continue to complain about how everyone else outside of our box has put us in this box, doesn't understand us, has isolated us, and is generally so much poorer off for not being in the same box with us. Kinda silly, isn't it? The problem in question here is not so much that people put us into boxes (which is detrimental enough to unity as it is), but that we are putting OURSELVES into boxes, and isolating ourselves from others by our own choice. I don't rant as someone free from this tendency; I've put myself in the 'uncool and friendless' box for too many years to count, before realising it was not the people around me who considered me that way, but my own self-perception. People, "we" are different from "them" only because WE have decided to make ourselves so.
In the process of packing up our lives into the neat little system of self-defining boxes, we often place our self-determination on the shelf to get dusty. When we're saying, "They make me feel left out" or "They make me feel worthless" or "They make me feel [insert other non-unifying negative feeling here]", this is the kind of mistake we are making. Yes, stuff happens in life. Yes, we will feel good and bad and in between. Yes, people don't always know how what they do makes us feel. But ALWAYS, we are in control of how we will respond and how we will feel once the initial shock is over. We choose whether we are going to feel like an alien, like an odd-ball, like a hero, like a saint. I don't like hearing people complaining about how others (even the church!) are making them feel or act, when the responsibility for our feelings and behaviour lies solely with us. And I'm guilty as charged! How many times have we been 'made to feel' second-rate and unwanted, when really people are wondering why we never make contact anymore? How many times have well-meaning people said or done something for us, only to be slandered as controlling or rude, when the real problem was we chose to see their actions as terrible, not well-meaning? We choose how we feel in response to any situation.
As Captain Planet would say, "The power is yours!" We are the ones who put ourselves into isolating boxes by declaring how different we are to other people, and putting ourselves into exclusive little groups. We are the ones who decide how we will feel, even if we're tempted to blame it on other peoples' imagined lack of consideration. We are the ones who determine how close we are to the people around us, even if we're tempted to say that it's them who are drifting away. People, we all need to wake up and take responsibility for our feelings and our relationships if we want them to be healthy! That's the choice I'm going to make.
I've heard a bit lately from various different people from all different friendship groups and all different scenarios and relationships that echos these attitude problems I see in myself, which makes me think the problem is bigger than just me. Often we get hung up about how we relate to others, or how other people relate with one another around us. To be bluntly honest, I am well and truly sick of feeling this way, and I want to change!
My first major problem is the issue of boxing. We are all for 'unity' and 'respect for people of all walks of life' and 'inclusion' and 'supporting one another' and all sorts of nice, warm, fuzzy phrases like that. But in the very next breath, we say words like 'my type' or 'those people' and proceed to place ourselves in a box apart from the rest of the societal group in question. After we have placed ourselves in our nice little box, we continue to complain about how everyone else outside of our box has put us in this box, doesn't understand us, has isolated us, and is generally so much poorer off for not being in the same box with us. Kinda silly, isn't it? The problem in question here is not so much that people put us into boxes (which is detrimental enough to unity as it is), but that we are putting OURSELVES into boxes, and isolating ourselves from others by our own choice. I don't rant as someone free from this tendency; I've put myself in the 'uncool and friendless' box for too many years to count, before realising it was not the people around me who considered me that way, but my own self-perception. People, "we" are different from "them" only because WE have decided to make ourselves so.In the process of packing up our lives into the neat little system of self-defining boxes, we often place our self-determination on the shelf to get dusty. When we're saying, "They make me feel left out" or "They make me feel worthless" or "They make me feel [insert other non-unifying negative feeling here]", this is the kind of mistake we are making. Yes, stuff happens in life. Yes, we will feel good and bad and in between. Yes, people don't always know how what they do makes us feel. But ALWAYS, we are in control of how we will respond and how we will feel once the initial shock is over. We choose whether we are going to feel like an alien, like an odd-ball, like a hero, like a saint. I don't like hearing people complaining about how others (even the church!) are making them feel or act, when the responsibility for our feelings and behaviour lies solely with us. And I'm guilty as charged! How many times have we been 'made to feel' second-rate and unwanted, when really people are wondering why we never make contact anymore? How many times have well-meaning people said or done something for us, only to be slandered as controlling or rude, when the real problem was we chose to see their actions as terrible, not well-meaning? We choose how we feel in response to any situation.
As Captain Planet would say, "The power is yours!" We are the ones who put ourselves into isolating boxes by declaring how different we are to other people, and putting ourselves into exclusive little groups. We are the ones who decide how we will feel, even if we're tempted to blame it on other peoples' imagined lack of consideration. We are the ones who determine how close we are to the people around us, even if we're tempted to say that it's them who are drifting away. People, we all need to wake up and take responsibility for our feelings and our relationships if we want them to be healthy! That's the choice I'm going to make.
Monday 7 May 2007
21st Birthday
I suppose I really ought to mention that my 21st birthday was on Saturday. Due to the extreme rush of the weekend, I couldn't post earlier, sorry. On Saturday I slept in for the first time since February (nice!), then had a fantastic party at Stoz's house complete with mountains of food Mum had spent all week cooking, groovy coordinating decorations, a surprise photo slide show and home movie from Stoz, lots of nice pressies, and around 40 of my closest friends!
Sunday was a family lunch at Pratty's Patch, followed by Mum's homemade cakes at home. Also nice.
A big thanks to everyone who came - and people far away who wished me well - for the presents and the friendships we share. Thanks heaps to the boys for letting me use their awesome party house, and my parents for organising so much stuff. And extra big thanks to Mum for her huge effort, and Stoz for all the scanning, music and organising that he did.
Sunday was a family lunch at Pratty's Patch, followed by Mum's homemade cakes at home. Also nice.
A big thanks to everyone who came - and people far away who wished me well - for the presents and the friendships we share. Thanks heaps to the boys for letting me use their awesome party house, and my parents for organising so much stuff. And extra big thanks to Mum for her huge effort, and Stoz for all the scanning, music and organising that he did.
Practicum 3 - What will it be?
Today marks the commencement of another three week school placement - Practicum 3 (previously known as Practicum 3A until the recent invention of MSTIE). I'm always nervous about starting a new prac, one because it's a LOT of hard work, and two because it's like a box of chocolates - you never know what you're going to get (sometimes simply divine and other times just the peanuts with all the chocolate already sucked off!).
I visited last week and got the 'bad vibes.' I had to remind myself this morning that I don't even believe in vibes as I headed off to school for the first real day. I'm at Maiden Gully Primary School, which is actually turning out to be a nice little school with friendly staff, and my Prep/1 class are beautiful. So far.
Anyway, you probably won't hear a lot from me for the next three weeks. Here's hoping prac stays positive once I start actually teaching!
Peace out.
I visited last week and got the 'bad vibes.' I had to remind myself this morning that I don't even believe in vibes as I headed off to school for the first real day. I'm at Maiden Gully Primary School, which is actually turning out to be a nice little school with friendly staff, and my Prep/1 class are beautiful. So far.
Anyway, you probably won't hear a lot from me for the next three weeks. Here's hoping prac stays positive once I start actually teaching!
Peace out.
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